Can Purell be used as lube?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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