Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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