Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize