school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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