I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
