What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
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I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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