clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
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I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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