She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1