Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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