Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
