You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
