i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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