Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize