the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My Higher Power is John Stamos
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
