Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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