Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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