she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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