I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
