tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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