I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
