no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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