Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
