I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
