I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
