its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
