so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
