Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
