Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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