I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
