Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
