not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
