drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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