Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
