And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
