Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
