ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
