haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
