Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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