why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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