he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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