Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
