my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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