i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize