How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
