Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
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It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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