It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
