peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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