so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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