I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
