singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
