i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
