Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
