she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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