Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
did i walk over a car last night?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize