guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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