dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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