today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
A bitchslap is in order.
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