I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
